some things never change...

I was clicking around on facebook, as we all do, and came across TVR's page.  click.

http://www.tvr.org/

click.

some of you know that I worked for a Christian camp in high school.  TVR is a magical place.  I was a camper for five years before I decided to go on staff at age 16.  every summer, I couldn't wait for my week of camp!  literally, I wouldn't sleep for the entire week before...

some kids were junkies for tubing.  others were crazy for horseback riding (why?, I have no clue...those horses are crazy!)  as awesome as the 'sloper-roo' was...smelling like shaving cream for days, and how breathtaking the view from the top of plow point trail at sunrise, nothing compared to the night sessions and the guest speakers.  The last few years as a camper and then again during the years of being a counselor, I looked forward to Brady Nemmers' teachings.

Tonight as I clicked away, I found podcasts of his sessions from this past summer.  as soon as I heard his quirky voice and silly jokes, I found myself transported back to a smelly old gym listening as I did as a 15 year old kid.  Brady opened with "we do what we do because we think what we think" (catchy, right?!  he was always good at hooking you at the beginning :)

he goes on to talk about Ephesus and Paul's letter to the Ephesians.  he emphasized our adoption into the family of God as sons and daughters.


our behaviors reflect what we think, what we believe, about who we are.

who are we?

If we have heard and responded to God's call in our lives, then we are sons and daughters in the kingdom of God!  We are children, heirs, brothers and sisters!  what beauty? what simplicity? what truth?

here I am at nearly twenty-five years old and still wrestling with belief in who I am, who I have been made to be.

you see, we are indeed new creations in Christ.  we are new creations with old habits.  if we do not remind ourselves and each other of who we are, we fall right back into those old habits.

this week was my first week back to school.  I've started clinicals and I'm working in oncology. with me on my floor, six other students from my school's nursing programs are rotating, sharing this experience.  there is one girl who is...different.  she processes differently and communicates differently and interacts with patients differently.  honestly, she is hard to work with and is easily the odd-ball in the group.  I've found myself reverting back to that silly high school crap where the popular kids 'rule the school' and the jokes fall on the outsider.

confession:  I am a new creation in Christ, but I have these nasty old habits that so naturally arise in seasons of stress and anxiety.

and its not because she is easy to pick on, or because others are doing it too, it's because I've forgotten that my identity is a daughter of God.  if I remembered this, I would be secure;  there would be no need to bring others down so that I might feel lifted high.  I would choose to be kind rather than cruel, patient in my interactions with others, and loving not just with my patients, but with also with this girl who is nervous and anxious about being in a clinical atmosphere...just like me.  

so yes...some things never change.

I'm learning at twenty-five from the same brother I learned from at 15.  I'm learning the same lessons today that I learned as a child--love your neighbor like you love yourself.