A reflection from my clinical...

            Last Tuesday night after receiving my clinical assignment for the next day, I was immediately intrigued and excited to work with a woman with a gynecological diagnosis.  When I’ve worked in clinical settings in the past, I’ve always preferred women and children.  Part of the reason for this was the cultural concerns of the countries in which I worked; women and men rarely interacted in the public sphere and often men would refuse care from a woman.  I think even if this weren’t the case, my preference would be working with women.  There something about understanding women’s issues on that level of experiencing women’s issues.

            After meeting my patient, J.P., I immediately connected on that level; when she asked for assistance getting out of bed and going to the bedside toilet I saw her pain and frustration and I almost cried.  A nurse on the floor had told me earlier that she had never seen a radiation burn that severe.  I didn’t really know what to expect because I’ve only seen radiation burns in textbooks.  Whenever J.P. was out of bed to go to the toilet, the Dr. had ordered that we apply her burn cream at the same time to keep the burn moist and medicated.  As I applied the cream, J.P. and I talked about her original diagnosis and the treatment plan that was explained to her by her physician.  It was explained to her that it was going to be a process of several radiation treatments.  Instead, when she came for her first treatment, the physician said that they were going to do it all at once.  To make a long story short, she had severe burns and was horrified by the damage done to her perineal region.  She kept repeating, “I don’t feel like a woman”. 

            This week was very emotional for me as I have processed and reflected since clinical.  My desire to work with this population has only increased largely impart to the element of vulnerability.  Women experiencing suffering in this way— womanhood being targeted and attacked (both by the disease itself and it’s treatment as in the case of radiation/chemotherapy)—and the emotional and spiritual components that are affected by gynecological cancers make caring for these patients both difficult and entirely worthwhile. 

            The important aspect to this type of experience is the combination of that emotional connection with the hands-on, mind-engaged, technical knowhow required to deliver the absolute best care for this woman.  A week like this reinforces those concepts from the classroom and pulls it all together.  I need much more than just empathy and compassion, most definitely; but without those, the most scientifically advanced therapies and cerebral, efficient, and advanced caregivers will simply fall short in the process of healing.